[Intro]
D G
[Verse 1]
G
There's a three-legged beagle who lays there spread eagle
D
On the driveway outside Patti's trailer
D7
He looks like he's sleepin' but he knows she's dealin'
G
And that she's been bonin' the neighbor
G
There's a mean little poodle we call cranky doodle
D
Ridin' high in Lynnette's Vera Bradley
D7
And he'll take to the grave that her husband is gay
G
Cause doodle likes chewin' his panties
[Chorus]
C
If these dogs could talk
G
They'd sure tell on you
D7 G G7
We're all lucky barkin' is all they can do
C D
They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
G D Em
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
C Am
God knows what they'd say
D7
Might ruin your day
G D G
If these dogs could talk
[Verse 2]
G
There's a brown one named Patience
D
She always waitin' for scraps outside of the diner
D
Leroy is servin', one thing's for certain
G
A hamburger steak always finds her
G
He may be a meth head who smokes up his paycheck
D
But everyone needs a best friend
D7
And she may be blind, but she sees him just fine
G
And don't care what they say about him
[Chorus]
C
If these dogs could talk
G
They'd sure tell on you
D7 G G7
We're all lucky barkin' is all they can do
C D
They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
G D Em
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
C Am
God knows what they'd say
D7
Might ruin your day
G
If these dogs could talk
[Bridge]
Am D7
They could sniff out the cheaters, point out the liars
C G
Shit on their lawns and piss on their tires
Am D7
They can smell kindness so maybe be kinder
C D C D
And don't even think about kickin' one
[Guitar Solo]
D C G D D7 G
[Chorus]
G D D
They dig up your secrets, they know all your trash
G D Em
The tales they could tell, the tongues they could wag
C Am
God knows what they'd say
D7
Might ruin your day
G
If these dogs could talk
[Outro]
Am
God knows what they'd say
D G D G
Might make someone's day if these dogs could talk
