[Verse 1]
E G#
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel
C#m
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal
A
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile
Am E
Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
[Verse 2]
G#
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head
C#m
Then I could see the places I've been
A
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit
Am E
I don't want to know what my friends think
[Verse 3]
G#
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn
C#m
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home
A
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long
Am E
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
[Verse 4]
G#
I wish I could act in a show on TV
C#m
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me
A
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel
Am E
But you won't believe me when I cry for real
[Verse 5]
G#
I wish that my brain would triple in size
C#m
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight
A
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind
Am E
I don't wanna know the point of life
[Verse 6]
G#
In some other life I would be rich
C#m
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill
A
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small
Am E
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
[Verse 7]
G#
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack
C#m
I'd get invited to every frat
A
But when you get old and your good days have passed
Am E
You'll only want me when you're sad
[Verse 8]
G#
Wish I was a song, your favourite one
C#m
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom
A
I would be there when your baby is born
Am E
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
[Verse 9]
G#
I wish I was big, as big as my house
C#m
I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd
A
But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch
Am E
God, I could really use him now
[Verse 10]
G#
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up
C#m
And if I did, well, so fuckin' what?
A
I could be cruel and break all your stuff
Am E
Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
[Verse 11]
G#
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird
C#m
'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear
A
And then you would die, you'd love me to death
Am E
I never know who the hell I am
[Pre-Chorus]
E G#
I wish I was me, whoever that is
C#m
I could just be and not give a shit
A
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan
Am
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
E
(—am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am—)
[Chorus]
E G# C#m
One, two, pandemonium!..........
A E G#
One, two, pandemonium!.....
C#m
Here I go again
A E G#
One, two, pandemonium!.....
C#m
Here I go again
E G# C#m
One, two, pandemonium!..........
A
One, two—
E
Here I go again
